


Bootylicious

by TheMadKatter13



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Universe, Flirting, Groping, Holidays, M/M, New Year's Eve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 10:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8140849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMadKatter13/pseuds/TheMadKatter13
Summary: How does one go about finding Deadpool on the rare occasion he gets lost in a crowd?





	

**Author's Note:**

> I love the 'lost in a crowd' meme and I was reading some today and this came out? Written and posted from my phone so... sorry?

“I lost Deadpool.”

“You _what_?” Peter exclaimed, turning aghast towards Iron Man. “How the hell did you lose _Deadpool_?“

Iron Man turned towards him and Peter was pretty sure he’d be getting a flat look if Tony’s visor was up.

"Kid, it’s New Year’s in Time’s Square. Shit, if the Hulk went down there, I’d lose him too.”

Peter sighed and stared down into the pulsating crowd from the safety of the top of One Times Square. If Jarvis couldn’t pick Deadpool out, then Peter’s sight wouldn’t do much good.

“Well, we can’t exactly head out before we find him.” Peter sighed again. “Why did we even agree to meet him here?”

“You agreed, Spidey, not me,” Tony shot back. “Wait, I think I got it. Jarvis, let’s get into this jumbotron and update the message.” There was a pause, presumably where Jarvis replied, and then Tony said “Spiderman has a flat ass.”

Peter looked over at Tony sharply, but his expression went to waste with his mask in the way.

“Alright, give it a sec and keep an eye out.”

Peter bit back a retort and turned his eyes back to the crowd.

It took a few minutes, but soon enough, the crowd started to stir, more than was normal, until it looked like a mosh pit had started in the middle of the Square. One that was slowly moving their way.

“Got ‘im,” Peter said, standing up and rolling his head.

“That’s all you, kiddo. I’ll meet you back at the Tower,” Tony said with a mock salute before flying away.

“Yup. Just leave Deadpool with me. His handler. Because I am an adult and he is not. I am a babysitter. A costumed babysitter. And I’m not even getting paid.” Peter sighed again, a big, deep sigh, and then jumped off the roof.

He let out enough web to swing down close to the crowd, ignoring the pointing and the reaching hands, seeking only the one.

“Ooh ooh! Pick me, Spidey! Pick me!” That one. Idiot.

Peter reached down to snag Wade by the raised hand, hauling the mercenary up onto his back.

“Hi honey, I’m home!” Wade crowed next to his ear before lifting the side of Peter’s mask go press a kiss to his cheek. “Work was hell today. Someone libel-slandered your bootylicious honour and I was on my way to avenge you.”

“That was Tony,” Peter told him, voice raised against the wind as they swung through the city. The sensation of the kiss lingered on his burning cheek. “We had to find you somehow.”

“Gasp! My sweet genius baby spider!” Wade crooned, nuzzling the side of Peter’s head.

“It was Tony’s idea,” Peter muttered, embarrassed.

Wade dropped one arm down to pat Peter’s chest pacifyingly.

“ _♪ I really think I’m ready for that jelly,_  
_I really think I’m ready for that jelly,_  
_I really think I’m ready for that jelly,_  
_'Cuz you’re body’s so bootylicious for me, babe~ ♪_ ”

“I don’t think that’s exactly how the lyrics go.”

Peter didn’t remember Wade letting go with one arm, but there was suddenly a really firm grip on his ass. And hot breath against his ear through his mask. Neither of which were any reason for his face to be so hot.

“It is when it’s about your body, Sweetie-Petey.”

Peter had an odd feeling that, this year, it was going to be Wade Wilson he kissed when the ball dropped.

FIN

**Author's Note:**

> Like the thing? Reblog the [thing](http://themadkatter13fanfiction.tumblr.com/tagged/Bootylicious).


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